I was raised by a strong woman who stressed to her daughters and granddaughters to be strong willed and independent. I'm not as tough as Mama but my bark and my bite can be pretty vicious. What I use to think was standing up for myself, is too harsh in most circles. I've seen the need for quite some time to learn how to speak the truth in love. What a feminist would call truth, most men would call something entirely different.
When I asked Jesus to be Lord of my life, my independent attitude brought about strong conviction that I needed to "renew my mind." The Bible clearly teaches we are (1) to love God and to trust and obey His Word (2) to love one another; (3) to treat others as we want to be treated; and as women we are (4) to submit to our husbands. Three out of four ain't bad but my upbringing brought me to a screeching halt on number four. My sisters in Christ spoke often about submission and before long I felt like I must be damaged because I wasn't going to be able to pull this off. I wanted to be obedient to God's Word but this...I could never do this.
I learned first that being submissive didn't mean being a door mat for anyone to wipe their feet on. Jesus is always to be my example for my behavior. He was the most submissive person who ever lived but He was also the strongest. Jesus never did anything He didn't want to do or plan to do. His strength was in His quiet submission to the Father's will, not His own will or the will of men. But guess what? I'm no Jesus.
I finally figured out it all came down to choice. I was not built with "submission" as part of my DNA but I could choose to be obedient to God's will, I could choose to be submissive. It wasn't long after that, that I discovered choice also played a huge part in forgiveness. I could choose to forgive even when I didn't feel like it. God's Word says I am to forgive others so He will forgive me. I will always choose to forgive those who have sinned against me. It may take time but in gratitude to Jesus who died so I could be forgiven of my sins...all of them, I choose forgiveness. I can also choose to be loving, gentle, kind, joyful, peaceful, etc. When I do choose God's will, I find the one thing I never thought I could have...submission to my husband.
When Mike and I were searching for a church home back in 2003, I pretty much made the choice. Mike originally had concerns but he stayed and became completely involved in the children's ministry, the administrative counsel and leading a Small Group in our home. The Holy Spirit was definitely there and we both grew in our faith. God used this time to fine tune our gifts: mine for teaching and Mike's for leadership. We dreamed together of leading a scripture-by-scripture Bible study some day.
After five years we agreed it was time to leave and find another church home. This time Mike would choose the church because I had chosen to be a submissive wife, respecting my husband as the spiritual leader of our home. We bounced around from church to church for several years. More than once, I was ready to bolt and make my own choice when we didn't agree. I was submitting but not with my whole heart. I'm sure Mike would say I wasn't submitting with my mouth either. My faith muscles were being stretched to the point of pain. To me it felt like we were wondering in the desert without access to living water. I kept praying for God to lead Mike to the church He had for us and to give me patience, NOW!!!
We started visiting Mike's childhood church...First Baptist Church Thorp Spring. They had had a split in their fellowship and the membership was down to around 50 people, mostly elderly folks in their 70's, 80's, 90's and no children at all. The preaching was great and Bro. Alvin was on our doorstep every week inviting us to join their fellowship.
After three months Mike said the Lord was leading us to join FBCTS because He had very clearly been telling Mike to "get back to your roots." My first reaction was...NO WAY! Old time Baptist condemnation and me a reformed feminist; no more contemporary music; no women's fellowship...these topped my list of concerns! I was in a panic but we continued to attend and Mike was more and more certain this was God's plan for us. I finally said "yes" and we joined but it was not an easy choice for me. I did submit to God and to Mike but my trust and faith were stretched to the max.
Today, two and a half years later, a visiting lay preacher told us he had received a call from God to enter the ministry and he had submitted himself to God's call. My conscience took a hit because when I was 18 years old and got God's call to come to Him, I turned and went my own way (see my blog called "Available" for details about that event). Finally, 40 years later, I had turned back to God and said "here I am." With that step of submission, God brought about the blessings I had received from our former Small Group and the gift of my passion for studying and teaching God's Word.
Last Sunday as I listened to the speaker talk of the blessings he and his family were receiving since he committed to God's call, I was able to see God's hand of blessing on Mike and I. For the last two and a half years we have been leading a scripture-by-scripture Bible Study. The class members are always so wonderful to tell us how much they love our class and blessing us with their praises. I always reply, "Thank you but you don't understand...I'm the one who is blessed. I am allowed to do what I love to do, study God's word and pass it on to others."
Sunday night I realized, God blessed us with the Bible Study of our dreams as a result of our faithful obedience for following His design for submission: Mike submitted to God's leadership as he prayed for God to lead us; and I submitted to my husband's leadership as I prayed for God to lead my husband.
Moses said it this way in God's Word: Deuteronomy 28:13 "The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom." Jesus' words say it this way in Luke 11:28: "He replied, 'Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.'"
The thing I struggled against for so long, submission, I now see as my blessing. Jesus was right...Father does know best!
Today, two and a half years later, a visiting lay preacher told us he had received a call from God to enter the ministry and he had submitted himself to God's call. My conscience took a hit because when I was 18 years old and got God's call to come to Him, I turned and went my own way (see my blog called "Available" for details about that event). Finally, 40 years later, I had turned back to God and said "here I am." With that step of submission, God brought about the blessings I had received from our former Small Group and the gift of my passion for studying and teaching God's Word.
Last Sunday as I listened to the speaker talk of the blessings he and his family were receiving since he committed to God's call, I was able to see God's hand of blessing on Mike and I. For the last two and a half years we have been leading a scripture-by-scripture Bible Study. The class members are always so wonderful to tell us how much they love our class and blessing us with their praises. I always reply, "Thank you but you don't understand...I'm the one who is blessed. I am allowed to do what I love to do, study God's word and pass it on to others."
Sunday night I realized, God blessed us with the Bible Study of our dreams as a result of our faithful obedience for following His design for submission: Mike submitted to God's leadership as he prayed for God to lead us; and I submitted to my husband's leadership as I prayed for God to lead my husband.
Moses said it this way in God's Word: Deuteronomy 28:13 "The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom." Jesus' words say it this way in Luke 11:28: "He replied, 'Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.'"
The thing I struggled against for so long, submission, I now see as my blessing. Jesus was right...Father does know best!
